Tag: Spoonie

Energy Vampires

How do you avoid energy vampires?

“Be strong,” I kept telling myself. “Don’t cry. You did nothing wrong, and you don’t deserve this disrespect. You apologized for that which you could not have any control over, and there is nothing that can be done. You have the power to not let this affect you. Just take a deep breath and let it go.”

This is how I dealt with my last patient of the day one day last week. I was on the verge of crying because of how this a-hole was treating me for running 15 minutes behind schedule, and did I mention it was at the end of the day? He’s lucky it wasn’t longer! The patient that was before him is quickly declining with dementia and needed extra TLC, just like I’ve given him for his extreme dental anxiety for the last some-teen years. He insisted I still see him when I offered to reschedule him if he’d prefer, but then he blindsided me with uncalled for fury and offensively harsh words. I barely held back the emotional rollercoaster that was racing its way to my tear ducts after such a verbal attack, and after an internal battle to decide whether or not to bite my tongue or say what came to my mind, I decided to confidently blurt out that my doctors have made me wait 1 1/2 hours before, and although it may not be convenient, I could respect that because I know they spend the necessary time listening to and addressing their patients’ needs and concerns, including my own. Then I politely explained to him that as hard as I try to stay on schedule, I cannot control what happens in the hour(s) before his appointment that may slow me down, and proceeded to tell him that I would not be offended if he wanted to go somewhere else, or he could schedule at a time he would be guaranteed not to have to wait in the future. Life is challenging enough without having to deal with energy vampires like this!

Like most others, he has no idea of the internal hell I’m going through myself, and the stress I’m under, trying to keep myself working in spite of the inhumane pain, fatigue, and myriad of other things I deal with on a daily basis in order to pay the bills, keep a roof over my head, and have food in my belly. He had the audacity to whine about how he loses money to come get his teeth cleaned, while being ignorant to the fact that he had cost me lost wages several times over the years when he missed his appointments, and caused other patients lost opportunities to have those appointments in my tight schedule simply because he was not courteous enough to call to reschedule ahead of time. I wanted so badly but withheld giving him a piece of my mind and explaining what it’s like for me, having to provide everything for myself, having a mountain of medical debt, no spouse to help like he has, and pushing through with pain levels that would have had many others seeking disability long ago. Every day I feel like I’ve been beaten, bound, and then tossed down a long steep hill and left to fend for myself. But no matter how much it hurts, I get up again.

I guess my point here is that there will always be negative, ignorant, and energy draining people or situations we have to deal with. As “Spoonies”, our energy is too precious to be wasted on things that are not in the best interest of our health and well-being. We must make every effort to avoid those draining people and situations, but when we can’t, we have to learn to take them with a grain of salt, or in the case of POTS sufferers such as myself, more like a bucket of salt, LOL!

Let Me Introduce Myself…

Who am I, and why would you want to read my blog?

That is a great question! The last thing I want to do is waste anyone’s time. Chances are, if you’ve found your way here, there is a reason. You or your loved ones are likely familiar with the terms “spoonie” and “zebra” when talking about those afflicted with certain medical conditions, and you know that all energy is precious and not to be wasted.

My name is Heidi Hash, 42 at the time of writing this, and I am living with a rare, genetic connective tissue disorder known as Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hypermobile type) (EDS), and its many comorbid conditions such as Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Fibromyalgia, Migraines, IBS, Insomnia, and the list goes on. I have had a very long and difficult ongoing journey, as many of us have, in figuring out what is going on with me, all while working as a dental hygienist (probably the worst thing I could have chosen to do with these conditions!) in order to keep a roof over my head at the same time. I am now 6 years and probably at least 18-24 doctors and therapists deep into trying to diagnose, treat, and understand all of my conditions. I have been living in terrible pain for over 17 years at the time of this writing, with worsening and new symptoms showing up every year. Pain meds don’t touch my pain and leave me with other unwanted and equally debilitating effects, not to mention the doctors are all too scared to prescribe anything these days even to those who need it the most, and so I don’t use them. Numerous other symptoms I’ve dealt with my whole life. Unfortunately, the doctors I was seeing at first had no idea what they were looking at with me, and ultimately I had to figure out my own conditions by doing much research, and then found my way to the right doctors to confirm my suspicions. I’ve learned that we have to be our own advocates.

As much as I am involved in my own battle, I am here to offer help when I can, or at least let you know you’re not alone, by telling stories of lessons learned from my life experiences, expressing my own opinion on subjects, products, and therapies, and recommending products or services you may be interested in as a fellow warrior. I have an open mind to Alternative medicine, and in fact have had some of my best success with energy healing that I do on myself. I will share more information on that in future posts. Although it is useful at times, Western medicine has mostly failed me so far, and I am learning to take my health into my own hands.

Join me on this journey, and please share your own experiences in the comments sections of the posts they relate to. Thank you!

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.

-Jimmy Dean